Promise Me Forever
by Malevalla
Summary: When saved by a black mage, could a girl, who lost everything she loved and had to them when they attacked Lindblum under Barhne's command, come to love everyone's favorite black mage of all? Complete!
1. Regret

Promise Me Forever

Chapter 1: Regret

_LLL_

Mel: I'm back already with my second fanfic! This one has nothing to do with my first one, and is serious. The comedy one was only for kicks and giggles, in a lame attempt to get me in the right mind. The mind set of: I don't care what you say, I'm going to write!

Loki: Actually, Mel just wanted to kill things without being yelled at.

Mel: Well…that too…I'm trying a first person perspective. Just to have a change. This one is going to be a Romance type fanfiction. Anyway, please read and review!

_LLL_

"Forget it! I can never pronounce that!" I protested, folding my arms over my chest. I had just recently joined Tantalus, after telling my adopted family to 'Go to hell'. My real family died in the attack on Lindblum. It was a sad day, I suppose, but I really didn't feel anything for them.

Tantalus wanted me to be in some sort of play, or something. "I Want to be Your Canary," Or something dumb to that effect. I was tall for my age, which was about thirteen, and looked closer to sixteen in all ways but my attitude.

People thought 16-year-olds had attitude problems. I was much worse.

We were arguing over a line in the play I couldn't pronounce. I wanted to change it to something easier. Baku wanted it to stay the same, finding it the only one that fit the rhythm of the whole damned thing. Blank really didn't care one way or the other, having his own issues to work out with Ruby. Cinna and Marcus were too afraid to fight with Baku, so they just agreed with him. Those cowardly pigs!

"We're gonna keep that line, and that's that!" Baku bellowed, storming off and throwing his version of the script into the air.

"God darn it!" I growled when he had left. I was forced into the part of the cheesy damsel in distress. Lucky me, right? Heck no!

Well, I was away from my adoptive parents. That was good. They were rotten as parents, and even worse as people. They acted as people around me, not parents. They beat me, or at least tried to. They feared me, since I had skill in magic, and not white magic either. They hated me, because I had taken up so much of their 'time, money, and space.' In reality, they didn't work, paid for things by begging on the streets, and sat around their cramped house drinking beer.

That was my life, and all in all, it sucked. Being a thief, traveling the world, and laughing at nobles, was so much better!

I'll never forget how I got into Tantalus, of course! It started out with me running from my adoptive parents, as you can imagine. I slammed the door to their little wooden shack in…I'm still not sure _where_ they lived. They just lived somewhere, not noticeable on any map.

I ran for what seemed like months. Only a single night had passed. Tears had streamed down my eyes so incredibly fast that day. They were nothing but people to cause me pain. I didn't want to feel it anymore. I rain until it all went numb. Until it was no longer there, but miles away. It was night, and rain streaked down continually. Heavy buckets full, separated into heavy drops. Each pinprick of water falling to my skin made me numb. It's what I wanted.

I thought I would die. I didn't stop to eat, or to rest. My shoes clamored down cobbled roads that connected people's houses together. I'm sure I was screaming in the pain I had felt over such a short time. I'm sure I woke many people. I wouldn't have blamed them if they had killed me on the spot as I disturbed their towns. They never did, and I continued to run.

I don't know when I finally stopped, drenched from head to toe in my own tears and rain water. I thought I had stopped in the middle of nowhere. I thought I would die for sure, before a single airship passed over the spot. I was unconscious, finally relieved from the pain so far away. I wasn't, I know that now. I'll always feel it. But for then, there was nothing but sweet dreams and a warm sun to dry me as I died.

I awoke later, much to my surprised. I never expected to wake up. I had run all nigh, not stopping even once. I had pushed myself beyond human limits. I stopped in a deserted plain, with no one to help me. Yet, here I was, staring up at a wooden roof, wrapped in a warm cotton blanket.

My first thought was that my adoptive parents had gotten to me, and would beat me in my weak state. A blurred figure leaned over me. I couldn't see it, and closed my eyes shut, as tight as I could, preparing for a blow. That isn't what happened.

"I'm not going to hurt you! I've never hurt anyone, I swear!" An unfamiliar voice said to me. It was gentle, and seemed nearly as frightened as I was. "Are…you okay?" It asked me.

I opened my eyes to stare at the person, not used to light, or seeing for that matter. "I don't know…I can't feel anything…" I know I said it, but the voice I heard was so…timid. I was always confident, loud, bossy. This voice I heard was quiet and scared…submissive.

"I'm glad…" my sight was coming back to me. The image before me cleared. I don't think I had ever been so frightened.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I shouted, sitting up and pushing myself as far away from what I say as I could. "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU DEMONIC PUPPET!" I had screamed to the poor child. Tears streamed down my eyes in pure fear.

"I've never hurt anything…" The small black mage whispered, pulling away from me.

"Liar!" I whispered, unable to say anything more, or louder.

"Now, that's no way to treat the boy who saved you!" A new voice said jokingly. It let out a loud, robust laugh. I turned to see the man who spoke. It was a huge man, more of a giant than a human. He was pudgy, tall, and wore the funniest hat I had ever seen. He was dressed like a thief, with an odd colored beard. He was surrounded by three other men. One had red hair, his eyes wrapped in metal. Another was short and squat with a scruffy beard. The last was taller than the second with a load of brown hair, pulled back and tied into a ponytail.

They were the biggest bunch of psychotic losers it will ever be my pleasure to meet.

I never said anything to them, and I kind of regret that I didn't. I had a million things to ask, that would have been answered right then and there. Questions that I might never get to ask them.

"I'm Baku, leader of the infamous Tantalus! Our friend found you in a field, more than half dead! He brought you here, and we've been taken' care of you, haven't we boys?" There was a round of affirmatives. "So, missy, since we've been keepin' you alive for the past month, mind tellin' us your name?"

"I'm Loki. Now get this rotten little demon away from me before I kill it!" I could only feel a fiery rage build through me. I was half convinced my normally green eyes took the color of fire. That was something I will forever regret. I wish…with all of my cold and heartless being…that I had never called the small black mage what I did. It's the only thing I will forever regret. The only thing I regret completely. Nothing else would ever compare to this…

_LLL_

Mel: I actually like this a lot more than my comedy fanfic. I love writing emotions. I may not be good at it, but my dear god it's fun!

Loki: Why'd you make me so mean to poor Vivi?

Mel: It's part of the story. Get over it.


	2. To See Through Hatred

Promise Me Forever

Chapter 2: To see Through Hatred

_LLL_

Special thanks to CrimsonCobwebs and Candygurl113! Now I can continue, knowing people appreciate my works! Thank you! Yes, Loki is an original character. Sorry if I didn't make it clear!

Disclaimer: I don't own any Final Fantasy IX characters themes or setting. I only own Loki, my original character!

_LLL_

The same robust laugh came from Baku again. Vivi didn't look at all amused. He looked thoroughly hurt. A twitch of pity came through me, disappearing instantly. He was one of _them_! A devil monster used for nothing other than killing! He had killed my first family, and put me in the living hell I was in now! It wasn't him that did it of course. One of the other black mages did. But he wasn't any different from them. At least, that's what I thought way back then.

"You must be confused! This is one of the people who helped save all of Gaia! He's not a little devil, and we're not gonna allow you to kill 'im!" Baku objected. He walked over to me, and put a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to lie back down in the bed I was in. "Now, me and the boys are goin' to the clubhouse and prepare some room for ya to stay!" Baku walked off, his 'boys' clearing a way for him to get through. "And be nice to Vivi!" He called back over his shoulder.

"Hah!" I mumbled, turning over onto my side so I wouldn't have to look at the monster. I heard his shoes padding across the floor. They stopped, and I'm pretty sure he was sitting down in a chair by the door.

"I'm sorry," the mage mumbled. I could barely hear him.

"You aren't sorry!" I snarled, not turning to see him.

"I don't know why you hate me…but you must have a good reason…"

"You bet I do!"

"So, I'm sorry for whatever happened."

"Would you stop talking to me? I don't want to hear you!" It hurt me to hear him. Each innocent word he said cut through my hatred. Sadness for the boy would replace it. He seemed so hurt by my words, which I had no right to say to him.

He sighed, but followed through with my request, remaining perfectly silent. Several minutes passed, and the sorrow and pity for him was taking control of the hatred I held for him.

"Why!" I shouted, sitting up and glaring at the black mage. "Why do you have to be different from the rest? Why can't you be exactly the same?" Tears ran down my cheeks. They burned my skin, just to know they were there. "If you were the same, I wouldn't be so confused! It's your entire fault!" I was sobbing, resting my head in my hands. I was ready to tear my eyes out, just to rid myself of the crying.

"I don't know why I'm different. Maybe it's a gift. Maybe it's a curse. I wish I knew which. Parts of me want to be like them. I wish I was just like the others, so I wouldn't have to suffer as much as I do. Then, the rest of me want to be like this. If I was like the others, I wouldn't have the friends I have! It's all…just so confusing," he seemed to trail off into thought.

"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered. My hands still covered my face, covered my sorrow. I wished so much that I could wear that hat, wear those shadows, and hide from the world. "I hate you! I don't want this!" I stared at the mage through my fingers.

He chuckled to himself, and I doubt if he knew why he did that either. He looked up at the ceiling, as if in a daze. "I wish I knew why. Maybe, seeing you hate me as much as you do made me realize that I needed to tell someone. I don't blame you for hating me…and I don't wish anything against you for it. I'm just grateful you listened to me…"

"He said your name was Vivi, right?" I asked, pulling my hands away from my face. I kept my eyes to stare away from him. I didn't want to see him.

"That's right. At least, that's what everyone called me."

"You don't deserve this…" I couldn't believe my own ears. Vivi looked at me so oddly. I blushed under his gaze. I could feel it. I looked up, looking for the first time ever into his eyes. My heart nearly broke.

I have come to one conclusion that I will rely on for the rest of my life. That is, black mage eyes never lie. Vivi's eyes held no blame or hate towards me. They were filled with sorrow, for people other than himself. There was sorrow for him in there, but he wasn't selfish. I couldn't say the same for myself. There was also sadness, because I hated him so much.

I wanted to cry again. I wanted to scream, yell, and just plain get everything out. I had blamed this boy for things beyond his control.**_ I_** was the real monster here. I needed to say something to him…any thing kind, or at least not nasty and spiteful.

"I'm…so sorry!" I whispered, as quietly as I could. I lowered my head, closing my eyes shut. I didn't want those eyes staring at me anymore.

"You're…sorry? Why?" Vivi had asked me, so stunned, it seemed.

"For hating you! I don't! I can't…there's nothing in you to hate…" I mumbled. My words were half slurred as I struggled to tell him what I felt. "Your eyes show everything. I can't hate you…"I trailed off, my body quivering. _It shouldn't be this way! _I thought desperately to myself.

"It's okay! A lot of people hate me. I'm getting used to it!"

"No it's not! No one should hate you! You haven't done anything!" I had jumped from my bed in a rage, knocking something off the bedside table. My wrist was sliced open by the thing, as it shattered against my touch. It hit the floor, pieces scattering everywhere. I didn't notice. "Why do you let them? Why don't you just look at them the way you looked at me? No one could hate you if they saw what I saw!"

"…No one, other than my brother black mages, has ever seen anything but yellow in my eyes," The mage bowed his head, lacing his fingers together.

"Unbelievable…" I whispered to myself. His voice alone had calmed me in that moment. I'm still not sure why. It always had that effect. I gasped, the pain from the cut finally catching up to me. I winced, holding it in my good hand.

"Let me see it," Vivi whispered, walking up to me. He took my wrist, careful to stay away from the cut area. "You can have this…" He handed me a strange bottle, filled with liquid. "It has healing powers," He mumbled, before giving me back my hand.

I nodded, accepting the thing. Activating it, the cut cleared. I sighed in relief, sitting back down on the bed. I was in different clothes than the ones I had remembered wearing. The ones I was currently wearing seemed more like white, overly large pajamas than the peasant outfit I had been wearing.

"Where am I?" I asked after a long, awkward silence.

"You're in Lindblum Inn. The manager owed Baku, so he let you stay here while you slept."

"How long…have I slept?" I asked, afraid to know the answer.

"About a month," Came his simple reply. He adjusted his hat on his head. A habit he would never grow out of. It was always perfectly placed, so it was a pointless task.

About an hour later, Baku and his group came back, making an overly dramatic entrance, thinking I had ripped Vivi's throat out by now.

They took me to their 'clubhouse', which wasn't much more than a large room in a bell tower. It was pretty dirty, and only one of the two beds had clean linen on it. They gave me the clean one to sleep on, and started to straighten up the piles of garbage that had collected up. The red haired one, Blank, gave me back my clothes. Everything, from the skin tight shirt with different shades of green spiraling around vertically, to the red, cotton pants covered in pockets. It matched my hair perfectly, the dusty red mass falling to my shoulders at the front, only to get shorter towards the back of my head.

Somehow, Baku became convinced that I was the perfect person to take a spot in their little thieving group. I think Vivi had something to do with it. The Mage was always kind to me, and joining Tantalus was the best thing for me at the time. I would only realize it later. I was stubborn, and only submitted to their attempts to get me to eat, to go outside, or anything at all for the most part, when Vivi asked. I did this to try and repay him for all the things I had said to him, but it never felt like enough.

It never would be enough. He deserved so much more than I could ever give him.


	3. Never Let Go

Promise Me Forever

Chapter 3: never Let Go

_LLL_

Disclaimer: I do not own any FFIX related things.

Special thanks to CrimsonCobwebs! A Tantalus adventure would be really cute, but it wouldn't fit in, with where the story goes. I'll put one up, as a one shot, though! Thanks for the idea! I think this chapter is sad...it only gets worse in the chapter after it...

_LLL_

"Do you want any help?" The mage's voice had become all too familiar to me. I was pulled from my memories, and turned to see Vivi standing in the doorway. I smiled, willingly, tossing the script onto my bed.

"Hi Vivi!" I said, waving to him from my spot. I was wearing the outfit I always had on-green shirt and red pants-only with golden thread tied around my neck. I don't know why, but the feeling of it there was pleasing.

"I heard you and Baku yelling. Is everything alright?" He asked, walking up to me. There was a slight worry in his eye. He knew how violent Baku could be, for no real good reason.

"Yes. We were just fighting over a line in the play! I can't say it right, and Baku is forcing me to learn it!"

"I could help…if you want!" Vivi offered.

"Thanks! It would really help!" I grabbed the script, flipping through the pages. I handed it to him at last, pointing to a word in the middle of the page.

It was some stupid word that I just couldn't get over. It was simple enough, but whenever I tried to say it, my tongue refused to cooperate, and completely ruined it. After much struggling, I got it right. Of course, I thanked Vivi for it, but he only said the word to me once, and really didn't help so much as laugh at my pathetic attempts to straighten it out.

"I have to get back home soon," Vivi informed me, after watching me gloat for about five seconds. It wasn't that he cut me off; I just realized that I had no reason to celebrate four seconds into it.

"Do you have to?" I asked, whining mostly. He nodded, with a sigh.

"I'll come back soon, I promise!" He replied after a moment. "I just got word that one of my friends at the Black Mage Village…isn't doing so well…" He stared at the ground, not wanting me to see his eyes. He didn't want me to see into the pain he was feeling.

"Oh…I'm . . . I don't know what to say…" I admitted, starring at the floor myself. His friends at the Village seemed to be stopping more and more commonly. It was really…sad.

"You never did," Vivi sighed. It wasn't an accusing tone, like he blamed me. It was more in a 'Don't worry about it!' tone. "Well, I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?"

"Okay," I replied.

"Vivi, are you ready?" A voice asked gently from the door. A violet haired girl stood there. She had some sort of wing ornament on her back and a horn on her head. By now, word had gotten out that Eiko Carol, the summoner, had been adopted by Cid Fabool.

"Yeah, Eiko, I'm ready," Vivi replied, taking a step away from me. "Bye," He whispered to me, before running out the door. I caught a glance of his eyes. He was broken hearted. He always was when one of the black mages was dieing, but this was so much worse. This is the one he knew the best.

Baku called a meeting that night. Hesaid it was extremely important, and anyone who was even one second late was going to be hit so hard their grandmother could feel it. Needless to say, everyone decided to be there at least ten minutes early.

Well, I didn't show up nearly as early. I showed up a minute before the meeting, and the others thought I was going to be as good as dead. Of course, I was on time, so Baku didn't do anything to me. Not that he would have noticed. He himself was fifteen minutes late.

"Gwuhahahaha! Sorry to keep ya waiting!" He bellowed when he finally showed up. There was some guy hiding behind him, a grey cloak covering his body completely. "Now look, this play is really important, 'cause we're going to have a special guest show up! This is going to be the best play ever!" He seemed to be just rambling.

"Boss, what the hell are you taking about?" I blurted out, half way through his speech on how famous we'd be.

He laughed again. It was getting on my nerves. "You don't know? Oh, that's right!" The rest of the crew seemed extremely happy about something. The guy in the cloak hadn't said a word. Baku was just plain bugging the crap out of me with all these secrets. "I'd like you to meet Zidane!" He said, signaling the guy in the cloak.

The guy pulled his hood down, revealing blonde hair and blue green eyes. I had heard Vivi talk about Zidane once, but I didn't know him.

"Oh. You see, I really don't give a rat's furry ass about some blonde haired guy. How the hell is he going to make us famous?" No respect on my part.

"Nice little girl, isn't she?" Zidane growled.

"Well, she's nice to Vivi. Not sure why, considerin' she's one of those black mage haters, but she's nice to Vivi," Baku said to him, in a somewhat exasperated way. He scratched the back of his head.

"Feh! What does it matter, if I'm nice or not? Now, what's so important about 'Zidane' that we'll be famous for a play?" Normally I wasn't so bratty around the Tantalus guys, but since Vivi was upset, not here, and I would have preferred to be with him than here, I decided to let everyone know I was in a bad mood.

Baku sighed heavily. "Zidane is the thief that traveled with Queen Garnet across the world! He's thought to be dead, and the Queen has become depressed because of it! Now we're gonna return this thief to the Queen in an overly dramatic way!"

"Okay, Queen loves thief, thief loves Queen, reunite the two for the biggest party on Gaia, got it!" I rolled my eyes, and leaned back in my chair.

"You can't tell anyone I'm here though! Especially Vivi, since you seem to get along with him from what Baku had told me!" Zidane said. He was glaring at me. I think I annoyed him. Good! He deserved it!

"Why would I tell Vivi about you?" I sneered.

"I'm one of Vivi's best friends!" Zidane replied, obviously ticked off at me.

"What?" I asked, pushing myself further back in the chair, which toppled over. "Oops!" I said, putting my feet up on the table, and digging my nails into the wall behind me. I hung there, not really wishing to fall onto my chair. "Well, Loki, another fine mess you've gotten yourself into! I swear, sometimes you're as clumsy as Vivi!" Yes. I was talking to myself. I did that whenever Vivi wasn't around to talk to.

"Boss, that girl is really creepy," Zidane whispered. I could still hear him. Just because I was hanging onto a wall for the sake of my back, which would land on the chair below me if I let go, didn't mean I couldn't hear him! I cast him a look that could scare the dead, and he shut up.

"Blank, Marcus, Cinna, could someone **please** help me?" I growled.

"I'll help you!" I heard someone chuckle. I recognized the voice instantly. How couldn't I? He hadn't even looked into the clubhouse yet, but he could hear me, since I was yelling

"Vivi!" I half shouted. Zidane lifted the hood back over his head. He looked at me, putting a finger to his lips before hiding his eyes with the cloth. "I thought you were at the Black Mage Village…"

"I was! Everything's okay now! Eiko managed to heal him!" Vivi walked through the entrance, letting me see his eyes. Everything really was okay. Well, there was still a distant distress, but I couldn't see to it. "And um…there's something else too!" He chuckled slightly, signaling to someone outside the clubhouse.

A horde of little black mages, all perfect clones of Vivi, only shorter, trotted in.

"Eh? Little Vivis! …So…dizzy!" I let go, falling onto the chair. "Ouch!" I shouted, grabbing onto the table and pulling myself up. Everyone laughed at me except Vivi, his children, and Zidane. I'm sure Zidane got a kick out of it, but he didn't want Vivi to recognize him, for some odd reason.

Another odd thing about me, to add to a list of things I'm sure is at least a mile long by now, is that I laugh whenever I'm in physical pain. I was laughing hysterically now, not sure that was the best thing for me to be doing.

"Are you okay?" Vivi asked, running up to me.

"Yeah, I'm okay!" I managed to spit out in between giggles. "That was pretty stupid, wasn't it?" I asked him.

He stared at me for a second, and then nodded. He was smiling, his eyes said so. "Yeah! It was!" He chuckled softly. I really was a fool.

Baku punched Zidane in the arm, nodding his head towards the entrance. "Well, I'm leaving now!" Baku said. "It's getting' late, and there stuff be stolen!" He laughed, walking out the door, Zidane following closely behind.

"Doesn't Baku live here?" Vivi asked me. I shrugged, still giggling silently to myself.

"Yeah, we're going with Boss. See you around, Vivi!" Blank said, dashing towards the door.

"Bye, Loki, Vivi," Cinna said, following after Blank. Marcus led the rear, waving slightly as he walked past.

"Bye!" I said, waving them off. I stared at Vivi's little clones for a second, smiling warmly to them. "Don't just stand there! It's cold outside! Come in!" I told them.

One nodded, and led the others in. "T-thanks…" He whispered. I nodded back.

"Hey, could you all stay here for a few minutes? I'll be right back!" Vivi told them.

"No, dad, don't leave!" One cried out.

"I'll be right back, I promise! Just a few minutes?" He asked them. Dad…they called him dad. They were black mages, so they couldn't have been created the 'normal' way. I still wondered though…

"Come on, Loki, let's go!" Vivi whispered to me. I had been lost in thought, and hadn't noticed that Vivi's 'children' had agreed. He tugged at my sleeve, and strolled out of the room, me following after him like a puppy that didn't want to be left alone.

"When did you become a dad?" I was joking around with him, he knew that.

He shook his head. "It's…really complicated," he told me.

"Good enough! It would probably confuse the hell out of me anyway!" I laughed, and climbed up onto the railing, which was wide enough to just barely keep me balanced if I lied down on it. So, I lied on it, watching Vivi pace slightly. "So what did you want to talk to be about?" I asked him.

"Huh? Oh…Loki…I think I'm going to…stop soon…" There was a heavy sadness in his eyes. "I guess I don't really…have a reason to go on anymore…"

"What…no! No, that can't happen! Not to you!" I was panicking. I sat up on the railing, tears coming to my eyes. "You do have a reason to go on! Your children need you, don't they?" I was desperate to convince him to stay alive. I needed him.

"They won't need me much longer. They can already talk, and walk. Magic comes naturally to black mages…no one really needs me," He was sad, but not nearly as upset as I was.

"Don't say that!" I yelled, jumping off the rail entirely. "I need you! I haven't finished repaying you for all the things I said! I need you here to help me!" tears streamed down my cheeks. I wasn't going to be able to take it all.

"Loki, it's okay! I forgave you for it, and that was that! It was enough for you to say sorry…"

"It wasn't! It's not enough! You little idiot, I don't want you to stop!"

"Loki…"

"I'm a selfish little brat; I've been nothing but a burden! I will never change! I know it's selfish of me, but I need you! I don't care about anyone else! Everything I had…has been torn away from me! You're all I have left, and I'm not going to let you go!"

"Loki…you aren't a burden to me! You aren't a brat! You have Tantalus to look after you…" His voice was choked with tears. He deserved so much better than me…"You deserve better than me…"

My eyes had been shut tight. I didn't want to see anything. They popped open, unbelieving. "Vivi...in my head…and in my heart…there's only you now! Tantalus…they hate me! I've been mean and nasty to them and not a very good thief either! I've been so mean to everyone…and you're the only one who's been nice to me for it in return. I don't deserve that…"

"Yes you do…" I felt him wrap his arm around mine. "You deserve better! You deserve someone who won't…stop…" I felt his body quiver. I wasn't going to let him go.

I grabbed him in a hug, sinking to my knees. I held onto his coat as tight as I could. I rested my cheek on his shoulder, and whimpered pathetically. I would never let him go. "Vivi…I'm horrible! You deserve someone nicer than me!"

"People can change," He whispered to me, wrapping his arms around me to return the hug. "You can change, if you want to! You deserve someone that you're willing to change for! I can't stay long enough for you…" I didn't stop crying. I didn't stop whimpering. I didn't stop holding onto his coat, desperate for him to stay.

I didn't want to run anymore. I refused to let him go. If I did…I would run until I died…

_LLL _

Well...it's sad, that's for sure. I don't know though...I think I went over board on the sadness in this chapter. Please read and review!


	4. Promise Me Forever

Promise Me Forever

Chapter 4: Promise Me Forever

_LLL_

Disclaimer: I don't own any FFIX related characters, themes, or settings. I only own Loki.

This is a really sad chapter. I'm not sure I can finish it…I'm overly sentimental.

_LLL_

I refused strongly on the idea of Vivi stopping. I wouldn't allow it! I had no control over it. Vivi pretended like that night had never happened around everyone, so I did the same. It wasn't hard. I didn't want to talk to them anyway.

Whenever I could, I'd wrap Vivi in a hug, refusing to let him go for several minutes at a time. He never objected to it. His children would occasionally walk in while I had Vivi in one of these hugs, but they never said a word about it.

I'd watch Vivi play with his children, each day seeming to become weaker and weaker. I wondered if anyone else noticed. I wondered if his children would miss their father when he was gone. I wondered if I'd be able to go on without him.

Life continued on this way for nearly a month. We prepared night and day for the coming play, hiding Zidane's presence from Vivi as best as we could. I hated it-lying to Vivi just for some dumb play I wanted nothing to do with in the first place!

I wasted away hours just lying on the spare bed in the clubhouse. I wasn't as mean to everyone, but kept completely to myself. Except for Vivi. I welcomed him any time. On one night, intended to be wasted on the bed, Vivi's children stumbled into the room, panting and screaming and crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked, fearing the worst before they could speak one coherent word.

"D-daddy!" One wailed. The Tantalus members huddled around them to get details. I just ran out. I wasn't running to escape from my problems this time. I was running to catch up to them. I needed to see Vivi for myself.

He wasn't far away, and I didn't have to run long. He was lying, face down, on the street. I went up to him; tears streaming down my cheeks like water would poor from the sky in mid summer. I was afraid of what I would find.

"Vivi…" I whispered. My voice was distant, as if on another plain. Fear rang through it, as shrill as a whistle. "Vivi, wake up! This isn't funny!" I knelt by him, determined to prove to myself this wasn't real.

"Loki?" His voice brought me out of the other plain my voice had gone to. My head spun in confusion.

"Vivi…please tell me you haven't stopped!" I whispered, running my fingers around the wide brim of his hat. I needed to feel that he was still there.

"No…not yet," He said, opening his eyes to look at me.

"You'll be o-okay then!" I said, trying to muster up as much confidents as I could. I scooped him up into my arms, carrying him towards the clubhouse.

I hate rain. I hate the dark, and I hate the rain. They followed me, bringing only disaster and sorrow to my world. It was night, and it was raining, and Vivi was dieing in my arms as I struggled to get him to safety.

I brought him in, soaking from head to foot. I stood in the doorway, dripping water from my form. My tears were hidden by the drops of rain, which trailed down my cheeks in the same manner. The group looked at me in pity, watching all I had be destroyed. Vivi's children looked at their father, crying in horror.

I carried him to the ladder, climbing up the structure with one had, supporting Vivi on the other. I laid him down on the bad I had been using for so long-and felt like screaming my hatred for the world right then and there.

I watched as Vivi slept fitfully, tossing and turning in his sleep. Exhaustion, mixed with the lullaby of rain, tried so desperately to send me into a dream world. I lied down next to him, starring at him in sorrow. Tears were everywhere, from my vain attempts to wipe them away. I wanted to scream so much…

Everyone else was sleeping, Vivi's children in one big huddle, using each other for warmth and comfort.

I saw a faint line of yellow shine through the shadows in front of me. Vivi was stirring from his sleep. "Loki…" He called out, not even looking at me.

"I'm here, Vivi," I replied softly, hoping this meant he was getting better. I should have known better,

"What do you think happens to people when they die?" He asked.

What did I think? I had no idea. I didn't believe in anything anymore. There were no heavens, there were no hells. There was nothing I could believe in. "I don't know, Vivi. I guess we just go to sleep, and never wake up."

Vivi nodded in the darkness, closing his eyes. He shifted a little, grunting with discomfort.

"Vivi?"

"I think…that you just kind of float there, if you've been good, and watch everything around you live, with everyone else who has died. I think that everyone will be with the people they love…"

"What happens…if you haven't been good?"

"Then…you don't get to be with the ones you love…at least, that's what I think."

"Where would I be?"

Vivi turned to look at me, as if surprised by the question. "You'd be with the ones you love…you'd be with me!" He replied simply.

I smiled in the dark. This was the only thing that made me happy that night. "How long would it last?"

"…Forever…" He replied. "I'd finally get to see Zidane, you know?"

"Zidane…how long has it been since you last saw him?"

"…months. He left. I was hoping he'd come back to see me before I stopped, but I guess I won't get to see him. I'm really…disappointed."

"Vivi…it's so unfair. He should be here for you…"

"It's okay! You're here for me. I'm glad…I didn't want to stop without anyone at my side." He seemed rather content. It broke me inside.

"I don't want to live without you around, Vivi…"

"I'm sorry…Promise me something, Loki…"

"Sure."

"Promise me you'll go on with your life…"

"…I will. I promise…" How could he ask that of me? Here he was, about to die, and he was the least selfish person anywhere. Why was life so cruel to him, of all people? "Will you promise me something in return?"

"Anything…"

"Promise Me…Forever…" He smiled at me, letting me get a long look at his eyes.

"I promise you…we'll spend forever with each other one day…" He whispered, his voice drifting off into nothingness. I reached over, pulling him into a hug.

"I love you," I whispered softly to him, stroking his hat.

"I know…" He nodded. "I love you too…and I promise you…forever…"

"I promise you…I'll go on…" I whispered, watching him close his eyes a final time. He shuddered against my body, and was gone.

I screamed, holding onto his body as tight as I could. I'd have to let him go. I couldn't go with him into death. I had to fulfill my promise. I cried and screamed until the entire area was awake. I held onto his last words all my life. They were the only thing that kept me going. They were the only thing I had left of the only one I would ever truly love.

_LLL_

I'm a Vivi fan…don't get me wrong. I love the poor little guy! I had to for the sake of the story, and I so hate myself right now. How could I do that to poor Vivi? Please review. Before I lose what little of my sanity I have left.


	5. Going On With Life

Promise Me Forever

Chapter 5: Going On With Life

_LLL_

Disclaimer: I don't own any FFIX related things.

Well…here it is. It is the last chapter of Promise Me Forever. I'd like to give a special thanks to CrimsonCobwebs and Candygurl113. Without your support, I wouldn't have put this chapter up. I'm thinking of writing a sequel, but I'm not sure. If you want me to write a sequel to it, I will. Otherwise, this is it for Promise Me Forever.

_LLL_

Well…what was left for me to do? I'd continue working with Tantalus, obviously. I didn't have anything to do besides that though.

The play we were going to perform, "I Want to be Your Canary", was still going to go on as planned. Zidane would play the role of the peasant, to declare his love for Queen Garnet half way through it. It was quite a romantic fantasy, but I didn't want anything to do with it.

I practiced without any enthusiasm for it. I didn't have any choice. Either I helped out with the play, or Baku would beat me. The choice wasn't a hard one.

Vivi had been sent to the Black Mage village, to be buried with the others. His friend that Eiko had managed to heal stopped the day before. Except for Vivi's kids, he was the last of their kind. It wasn't a good week for the Black Mage race.

Vivi's kids went to live at the Black Mage Village, not really having any reason to live in Lindblum. I couldn't blame them.

Zidane was upset about Vivi's death, but I avoided him at all costs. It was him that Vivi wanted to see the most, and it was him that completely blew Vivi off.

The day before the play was a long one. I had gotten everything ready for it a little everyday, so by then I didn't have anything left to do. Everyone else had left it until the last minute, and they were scrambling to get it all done then. I was left alone, bored to death.

We headed out that night on the Prima Vista's replacement. Still, I was pretty much bored the whole time.

We landed at Alexandria only a few hours before the play was to start. The band got into their spots and began their last minute practice. Everyone perfected their lines one last time, and the sun began it's extremely slow descent on the sky. I was, as always, bored to death.

The play started, and I couldn't help but notice how upset the young Queen seemed. She didn't even have a clue! I was told it was Garnet's birthday that day, though I couldn't care less. I just wanted it done and over with.

My wish came rather quickly. Zidane announced his love for the Queen, who ran to him as fast as she could. They hugged each other, and there was a loud applause from the crowd. It was too mushy for my tastes. That and I was still depressed over what happened.

The Queen's birthday feast turned into Zidane's 'Welcome Back!' feast. The Tantalus crew was invited, including me. I guess it was okay, but no one really talked to me. Not that I expected that they would.

I got along fairly well with Eiko. We never got to know each other, and had only seen each other when she came to get Vivi. I guess I'd never see her again, after this.

There was another girl there, called Ryoko, or something like that. She was about my age, probably slightly younger. She seemed to be training with Steiner or Beatrix to become a knight. She was slightly clumsy, and she barely said a word to anyone at all. For the most part, I ignored her just as she ignored me.

Baku disbanded Tantalus shortly afterwards. He said he wasn't getting any younger, and frankly, he was right. I saw him as an old man, even from when I first met him. I don't know how old he was, but he must have been ancient.

He let me live in the bell tower, claiming he didn't want to unleash me on the world. I would probably have killed the first person who tried to sell me a home, so I couldn't blame him.

I saw Blank and the others from Tantalus occasionally, but not often. I filled my time with reading. I bought book after book, trying to occupy my time. I had a lot of it, since I didn't have a job, a family, friends, or go to school.

I saw Ryoko some time later. Not much more than a few months. She told me she was going to start some sort of school soon. Somehow she managed to convince me to join. Actually, all she said was 'I'm going to start taking lessons at the Lindblum Festival High School.' And I just decided to do something other than read all my life.

It turned out to be a class to bring out your potential with whatever skills you possessed. Ryoko was an excellent swordsman. She used lighter swords, and fought with speed and grace, rather than strength and power. I didn't have any skill I knew of, so I pretty much skipped the school altogether. Most of the time, anyway. Eiko had joined apparently, training in the field of white magic. It figured really. The only other thing she did was summon, and there wasn't anyone who could help her with that.

Life went on, but there wasn't ever a minute that passed by that I didn't think of Vivi. My final promise to him was the only thing that kept me willing to live, and his promise to me was the only thing to keep my hopes up. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for him.

I was going on with life, with no particular enthusiasm, but I kept on going. I will keep on going. Thinking about it, my life had to get better eventually. I had to stay patient. I wouldn't be alive, just to do nothing. Eventually, something good would happen. I guess that was another reason to go on. My life couldn't get any worse. I had nothing to lose but life itself. Yeah…one day, I'd find something worth living for, and I'd be happy. Then, after it was all gone, my life and everything, I could go to Forever. And, in Forever, everything would be perfect. I'd be with Vivi, and I wouldn't have anything to lose. I would have all I could ever want! I just had to wait. Life would get better, if all I did was waiting for it.

_LLL_

Well…that concludes my fanfic! Please read and review, and tell me if you want a sequel. It would be an action/adventure, and much more light hearted than this. You'd have to read it. Either way, I'm writing it. I just might not publish it though.


End file.
